Attempting the Summit in less than 24hrs.

I just completed watching “Spirit of the Marathon”.  It was about 3 years ago when I watched this movie in the theaters with former Nazareth teammates Brad and Chris (all marathon virgins at the time) and I said “I will run a marathon” as I left.

Since then I have been through my share of ups (here and here) and downs and encountered difficulties that ground my training to a halt.  I pieced together a breakdown of the ultimate goal of running a marathon calling it my Mount Everest.

All week I have been anxious and filled with energy because tomorrow I make my attempt at the summit.

Chris, 2 time marathoner, will be there cheering and encouraging.  He’s waiting to see if he can run Boston a second time.  Brad will be running the half marathon (not sure what number this is for him). Kiel, a fourth teammate with 2 marathons under his belt and regular runner with us last year, will be unable to make it due to illness.  He’s working on training for a third marathon.

I will have my wife, parents, in-laws and friends I made with the Fleet Feet Distance Training program all rooting me on.  On top of that, in my mind there will be the encouragement of my fundraising donors, the readers of these blog posts and everyone who has encouraged me on Facebook.

I’m psyched!

In Conclusion, For the Sake of Posterity

This will be the sixth and concluding post for the series (one two three four five six-today) I have written on the tenth anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks.  By now you are probably sick of navigating to this blog and reading about it.  Some of the writing has been rather long winded, violating the unwritten rule of 250 words or less for a readable post.  You probably think it is time to stop focusing on this and get back to living our lives.

It is precisely this reason that prompted me to write so extensively on the topic.  Posterity must comprehend present reality.  We lived these events, but those who have not lived them need to read and understand accounts of these events to insure history does not repeat its self.  This is our responsibility today.

Irresponsibility is exemplified in the words of Tom Engelhardt's Al Jazeera English editorial calling us to forget 9/11 and Paul Krugman’s New York Times editorial suggesting "it has become an occasion for shame". As demonstrated over the past few posts, serendipity permitted me to capture the events of 9/11 in my own words in real time ten years ago.  Left unchecked, irresponsibility will erase the weight of those words.

The six posts I have written will be printed and sealed in dated envelopes and tucked away in a safe place.  When the time is right and my children are mature enough to understand the significance, they will receive the envelopes. Mr. Engelhardt and Mr. Krugman, so long as there exist people like me, your wish will never come to fruition.  I hope it never does.

A Decade of Challenging Assumptions

This is a continuation of my series of posts discussing the 10th anniversary of 9/11, today I discuss some of the ways the events effected me in the years to come.

The events of 9/11/01 were not over when the sun went down that Tuesday evening.  We all know it took months to clean up the site of Ground Zero and years until plans were officially put into place for how it would be rebuilt.  September 11 was just a day where the initial event took place.  It was a single point in time that served as a pivot point for everything occurring afterward.  The effect these events had on me personally came in the months and years after.

I am the type of inquisitive person who wants to know how everything works.  I'll take things apart, break things into their components and learn as much as I can along the way.  Here is an account of how I had to break apart my Faith, Knowledge and Patriotism in the past decade and challenge my assumptions.

Faith.

Like many Americans, on the day after 9/11, I went to a church.  Nazareth College has a chapel in the Shults center where they set up an altar with candles to be lit in remembrance.  I kneeled in those pews and prayed.  I prayed for the victims and prayed for answers.  The main question on my mind, "Why?"

At that point in time I was a confirmed Catholic and was relatively comfortable with my faith.  My worldview held the position that there were many different religions and paths in which people experienced generally the same God.  We as a people had to learn to accept and tolerate this, hence my perception of how religious tolerance worked.

As we learned more about al Qaeda and Islamic extremism, it did not make sense to me. How can a group of people believe in killing thousands in the name of their God?  How can that God also be my God?  If God has a plan for this world how could it involve flying planes into buildings and killing thousands?  If that's the case, count me out... I want nothing to do with this "plan"!

I was angry with God.  For at least six months after 9/11, I wanted nothing to do with organized religion.  I loathed having to go to church with the family when I returned home from college on my breaks.  I just went through the motions, present in body and not in spirit.

On the first anniversary of 9/11, the local public broadcasting network (WXXI) aired a special on 9/11 and faith.  I watched the special in the Shults center, adjacent to the same chapel I prayed in a year earlier.  A man told a story of going to a peaceful solitary beach after September 11 where he frequently went previously to be in the presence of God.  He had it out with God. He screamed and yelled at the top of his lungs.  He was angry at God too.  I sat and watched holding back tears because I learned I was not alone in feeling this way.

It was not until 2 or 3 years later until I became comfortable going to church again.  But I returned asking questions.  I returned questioning my assumptions.  I was searching for understanding and continue to do so to this day.

Knowledge.

The answers to my questions never came.  Instead of giving up my quest for answers it only prompted me to dig even deeper.  It just so happens, I was in a perfect position to do so.  I was a freshman at a Liberal Arts college campus, the world was my oyster.

For the next four years I crammed every possible history, philosophy, religious studies and political science class that I could fit into my schedule around the required courses for my Biochemistry degree.  I wanted to know everything I could about how this world worked.

I juggled my schedule to attend lectures and seminars on philosophy, ethics and religion every chance I could get.  I studied the foundations of Buddhism and meditated regularly.  I made it a point to follow and understand the news and read about it as much as I could.

I read books with titles I would no doubt have passed over prior to 9/11.  A few years later while visiting my brother in college for Family Weekend we visited the book store.  On a shelf I saw copies of the government's "9/11 Report" and a copy of the "Constitution of the Islamic Republic of Iran".  I bought both.  When I set them down at the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "Trying to figure out this world we live in?" "Yes, I am." I answered with cold unwavering determination.

I resolved to myself that even if it takes my entire life to do so, I will work towards understanding how this world works the way it does.

Patriotism.

Understanding our nation following 9/11 was tougher than I thought.  I began to look differently at the Pledge of Allegiance, National anthem, freedoms, liberties and what it meant to sacrifice your life as a member of the armed forces.  I gained a whole new respect for all of this. At the same time it felt as if our attitude regarding our freedoms and liberties got us in trouble to begin with.  We were America... we could do whatever we wanted in the world!  We enjoyed an economic boom through the 90's and we took it for granted.  We got complacent and took our security for granted.  It was only a matter of time before someone came along and slapped us down to size. Right?

Immediately after 9/11 I resisted the urge to become one of those people who immediately put the flag decal in the window of their cars and wear a flag pin everywhere at all times.  Excessive patriotism is what made us arrogant enough to get into this mess to begin with, right?  Anything in extremes, be it religion or patriotism turned me off.

It took me extensive studies of our history, particularly our founding, before I accepted American exceptionalism again. It took me years to challenge my assumptions. We truly are a nation that is blessed in its resources, freedoms and ability to persevere and rise to the most formidable of challenges.

Yesterday dug a flag pin given to me by my grandfather out of my dresser drawer and wore it... proudly.

My Recollection

In a continuation of my series of posts on the tenth anniversary of 9/11, The following is a more detailed account of the events of September 11, 2001 as I remember them today.

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The Tuesday morning of September 11 was a beautiful, clear cloudless day on the Nazareth campus.  In the early morning it was slightly crisp as one would expect on an early fall day.  The light chill was just enough to require a jacket, but I hurried off to my 8:00AM Freshmen English class without it.

My class was an 80 minute Tuesday/Thursday class held in Carrol hall.  Technically it was in a trailer in the parking lot adjacent to Carol hall containing two temporary classrooms.  Upon arriving at Nazareth a few weeks earlier, I was astonished I had to take a class in a trailer after all the money I was spending in tuition!  Much like most Americans that morning, I followed my normal routine and paid attention in class unknowing of the events that were unfolding in the skies above my head.

 

At 9:20 AM after class was dismissed, I chatted briefly with Drew after class.  He was coming to a second section of the same English class as I was leaving so we typically chatted a bit each morning.  Drew asked me if I had heard about the events in New York City.  By this point, both WTC towers had been struck by planes but I don’t think Drew had herd about the second plane (I could be wrong).  All I could think was “How could a pilot accidentally hit such a big building?  What a tragic mistake.”  Drew suggested terrorists, but that just didn’t make sense to me.  People who hijack airplanes ask for a million dollars ransom, not crash into New York City, right?

I wandered through the narrow section of grass behind Carrol hall towards the second floor of Smyth Hall for Dr. Hallahan’s Freshmen Biology lab at 9:30AM.  Some seemed somber and concerned while others knew nothing.  Everyone had differing levels of knowledge of the events.  I promptly began carrying out the assigned experiments for that day’s class.  Seven minutes into class, Flight 77 crashed into the Pentagon and 5 minutes later the FAA grounded all flights.

At some point just before 10:00AM, before the collapse of the South tower, Dr. Temple (one of my favorite biology professors at Nazareth) came in and was quietly discussing the events with Dr. Hallahan.  While I was practicing my pipetting technique, Dr. Temple addressed the class telling them that two hijacked planes had crashed into the World Trade Center towers with a third crashing into the Pentagon.  All flights had been grounded but there were unconfirmed reports of more hijacked planes.  In the skies above us, the fight for Flight 93 was unfolding at 9:57AM.  Afternoon and evening classes had been canceled.  We were free to complete our work and head back to our dorm rooms to contact our loved ones.

Several people left.  Some were actually excited because they didn’t want to be stuck in a boring Biology Lab any more.  Not comprehending the full weight of the situation, I wrapped up my experiments (South Tower collapses at 9:59AM), packed up and casually left class sometime around 10:20AM (Pentagon collapsed 5 minutes prior).  Walking back to my dorm room I thought “How bad could this really be?  A few hundred people probably died on each flight.  They will put out the fires.  We will fix up the Towers and Pentagon and things will be as good as new.” The North Tower collapses about the time this thought is running through my mind.

I return to my hot, uncomfortable corner room on the fourth floor of O’Connor 2.  My roommate Brian was not there.  Of course I wanted to know what was going on, so I turned on the TV.  Having just moved in a few weeks prior, I could not remember what channel CNN was located on.  I actually had to search around for the channel listing we were provided when we moved in!  Then I could not find the remote!  Standing no more than 2 feet from the TV I manually flipped to CNN.

There have been very few instances of this happening to me in life, but my jaw actually dropped when I reached CNN.  I gasped.  I physically took two steps back in shock.  On one half of the screen I watched looped footage of the towers falling, on the other, live footage of a permanently changed skyline of New York City with a monstrous dark grey cloud over it… no Twin Towers.

Suddenly… this was serious.

Then began the phone calls.  Dad… no answer at work.  “It’s ok, he’s a machinist working at a secure facility, he will be fine.”, I thought.  Mom… got ahold of her. As a secretary at Lake Shore High School where I had just graduated, she was doing her best to keep the kids calm.  I learn dad’s company went on lockdown.  I learn that my younger brother… witnessed the second plane hit the South Tower on live TV.

My thoughts then begin to turn to others who I may know in New York City.  Heather… a classmate from Lake Shore who is attending New York University.  My Nazareth classmate Andy’s friend Josie… also attending NYU.  Sarah, a new friend we made at Nazareth… whose mother worked at the WTC.  Her mother was 15 minutes late for work that day.  She survived because of this.  As the day continued, the web continued to grow.  Everyone somehow knew someone who was there.

As the number of firefighters and first responders killed in these attacks became apparent, my thoughts turned to several of my friends from High School who were very active in the local EMT and fire departments.  In the days following I remember calling my friend Megan and telling her that I did not want her to be an EMT any longer for fear of losing her in an event like this.

As the afternoon of September 11 wore on, most of us stayed inside huddled together in front of the TV news channels, occasionally stepping out to make or answer phone calls.  Learning the true depth of the events that happened that morning was too much.  We sought release from this cruel world we woke up to that morning.

We learned that the MTV studios located in Times Square had shut down broadcasting.  The silver lining to this was that the channel began to live up to its name and broadcast non-stop music videos.  Normally they broadcast crappy shows that no one had any interest in but now we could enjoy some of our favorite music videos that we had not seen much of in years.

In the evening, we had rented some movies.  They were comedies, though I can’t remember exact titles.  “The Mask” sticks in my head as one of the movies we watched part of.  Either way, there was not much laughing going on.  I don’t recall seeing the president address the nation at 8:20PM that night.  We had enough by that point.

As the night drew to a close, I remember trying to fall asleep concerned for what attacks tomorrow would potentially bring.  Questions raced through my mind. No answers. I had no idea that this one day would put me on the path it has in the years to come.

My Lost 10 Year old 9/11 Commentary

This is the third installment of posts focusing on the ten year anniversary of 9/11. Much of these posts are excerpts from a now inactive personal website I kept and wrote to at the time these events unfolded.

From the shambles of virtual pages that made up my old personal website there is a commentary piece written there titled "Something Has Been Taken From Us" dated 10/7/01.  Here is what I wrote. There is some editing of grammar and emphasis added by me today.

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Something has been taken from us.

It hurts me deeply to know that the day I walk the streets of New York City, I will not be able to gaze upward and see the enormous twin towers looming over me. I will not see this magnificent sight which so many others before me have seen. My children will not be able to see this sight. Only in pictures and movies will this site continue to live on. I and those who come after me will see nothing but the blue sky. For this great and awe inspiring sight has been taken from us. It has been taken by a group of people who had a point to prove. They decided it would be proper to prove it by destroying a landmark of one of America’s greatest cities.

People have been taken. Over five thousand* 2,996 people can no longer walk, live and work among the streets of New York City. These people were mothers and daughters, fathers and sons. They were grandparents, uncles, aunts, and nieces and nephews to someone out there. They were friends, family and coworkers alike. These people were only carrying out their day to day activities, yet the lives of these people were taken because someone decided to take them in order to show the hate they feel.

Our security has been taken. We can no longer progress leisurely through airports. We are under the constant watch of FBI, police, U.S. Martials and customs Agents. We are no longer allowed the conveniences of curbside check in and so forth. We are now forced to go through two-hour lines at airports, sporting events and even Disney land, as we must allow security to inspect every bag to ensure that everyone is safe. Our children have been shaken and now they sleep each night in a state of worry. All this is because someone took our security to scare us into respecting his or her beliefs.

Jobs have been taken. Thousands of jobs have been lost. Billions of dollars of money has been lost in income. Businesses have been destroyed. [Over] Two hundred stories and 10,000,000 [square] feet of office space between both towers have been decimated. Other buildings around the World Trade Center towers have also been destroyed along with their businesses. Our economy has been shaken as deeply as the foundations of the World Trade Center its self. This was done just because a group of people in this world wanted us to notice them.

What has not been taken from us is our freedom. It has been set forth in our Declaration of Independence that we have unalienable rights, which [among them] are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Though lives were lost, our foundations of liberty shaken and happiness shattered they are unalienable rights and are stronger than ever. What has not been taken from us is of far greater value than all that has been taken. It is not something to take for granted but it is not something to overly brag about. All we need to do is look at the flag in honor and respect and remember what we have gone through to gain those rights we continue to retain. Indeed, we have had something taken from us, but think about what has not been taken.

~~Glen~~
10/7/01

*At the time this original commentary was published, the estimated death tolls were much higher than they actually turned out to be.

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Note the line in the last paragraph regarding our unalienable rights, "It is not something to take for granted but it is not something to overly brag about."  This foreshadows some of the attitudes I carried over the longer term towards 9/11.  I'll explain further in some of my next posts.