Rug pulled from under my feet...

There have been a few times in my life where something happens and it feels as if the rug has just been violently ripped out from under my feet. Something so great as to shake the very core of my being and force me to rethink the way I approach the world around me. Recently, I have had several personal experiences that have met those criteria.

The death of a young man named Peter Cannon was a major story in the news around the greater Rochester region over the past month or so. Peter was 18 years old and lost his life in a car accident while on his way to go cross country skiing (one of his favorite activities). Peter is Emily’s brother… he would have been my brother-in-law. This tragedy has cast a dark dark cloud over the family in the past month or so.

The outpouring of sympathy and support for Emily and her family has been unlike anything I have seen. The experience of seeing Emily’s parents stand by their 18 year old son’s bedside to the very last minute of his life is a heartbreaking that I wish no one should ever have to witness or live through.

So what happens next? How do you rationalize this? I lost my Grandfather in the middle of last summer, but that had a completely different feel to it. It was tragic, but deep down; we all know that we will eventually lose our grandparents (we just don’t like to think about it). But you are not supposed to lose the younger members of your family. Right? This experience is one big slap in the face for me to wake up and cherish the times with the people that you never expect to lose.

Peter was very active with volunteering in the community and helping others out. Perhaps this can be rationalized by noting that now there will be a scholarship set up in his honor that will help many students pay for college. Some of Peter’s organs were also donated allowing for the lives of others to be saved. Maybe it is like a Mitch Abom - “5 People You Meet in Heaven” story where one day we’ll learn that one of those people that was saved went on to cure cancer or something. It is a warm fuzzy thought, but a painfully difficult story to live.

So I am left with the “rug pulled from under me” feeling. No answers or rational explanation. No clear idea of what to do next. Anger and confusion dominate. No scientist like me likes to be in a situation without answers and a rational understanding. I fear I will never have these answers despite a lifetime of searching.

No one should ever have to experience these things.