The zen of being a graduate student.

So in my day to day wandering of the myriad of knowledge (and trash) the internet has to offer I stumbled upon this page listing rules that will help you live more like a Zen monk. I used to be into Zen meditation and practicing mindfulness in my day to day activities but over the past few years I have gradually gotten away from it. I blame it on the fact that I have been a graduate student because graduate school life is pretty much the antithesis of the life of a Zen monk.

Allow me to elaborate. Here's the list from the site referenced above:

1. Do one thing at a time.
2. Do it slowly and deliberately.
3. Do it completely.
4. Do less.
5. Put space between things.
6. Develop rituals.
7. Designate time for certain things.
8. Devote time to sitting.
9. Smile and serve others.
10. Make cleaning and cooking become meditation.
11. Think about what is necessary.
12. Live simply.

Let's re-work this for graduate students:

1. Do at least 3 or more things at once. As a graduate student, multi-tasking is a way of life. Run at least 2 reactions while writing up results and reading a paper. If ever you are only doing one task... there is always something else you can find to be done. Do this as much as possible.
2. Do everything as quickly as possible. The set of experiments you are currently working on... well, your adviser needed the results for those yesterday even though he assigned the task to you today. Unless you know how to slow time down (or go back in time all together) speed is the key!
3. Do switch tasks and pursue tangents in research regularly. You will never manage to fully complete a set of experiments without stumbling across some bizarre finding or new question that will requite you to shift your focus and pursue a whole new set of experiments. If you ever do manage to fully complete a set of experiments… you likely did them wrong.
4. Do MORE. Pretty self explanatory, even for a lowly graduate student.
5. Put space between things... to do more things. So your NMR will take about an hour to run… set up a new experiment in the mean time. So you have a few hours until your reaction runs to completion… work through that pile of data on your desk. So your TGA will take all night to run… sleep while it’s running. (O.K. that last one it silly because you should not be sleeping while running an instrument… you should be running a second instrument!)
6. Develop [bizarre] rituals. If wearing your lucky lab coat, hopping on one foot three times and saying a prayer to the chemistry Gods before starting a reaction will insure a higher yield or better result in your experiment, go for it… just be sure to write those procedures up accurately in your notebook.
7. Designate time for research tasks only. Eat, sleep, and drink research. You only have time in the day for research… do not set aside time to clean your apartment, make your self dinner, spend time with friends, eating breakfast, leisure reading, etc.
8. Avoid sitting at all costs. Why sit when you can be standing in front of your hood setting up another experiment, or standing in front of an instrument gathering data? As a matter of fact… remove all chairs from your lab space and even get rid of the one in front of your desk. They are unnecessary.
9. Maintain a consistent frown and scowl. You are a graduate student, have been for years and you will continue to be for seemingly endless years… you have nothing to be happy about. Even when an experiment works… frown and scowl because you still do not understand what the result means.
10. Make cleaning glassware meditation. Unless of course you can pawn the job off on the undergraduate working underneath you in the lab. In that case take the newly freed up time to do another experiment.
11. Think about what is necessary [research]. Do not be caught thinking about what you are going to do over the holiday weekend, or when you will get to go out for a beer with your friends, or when you will be able to go out and enjoy the unseasonably warm weather… because all of those things are unnecessary and will be supplanted by research.
12. Live simply... because you have no choice. You get paid a yearly stipend… stipend is a Latin word that means you live off of Raman noodles and peanut butter sandwiches in a one room mold infested studio crap-shack apartment, wearing old out of style clothing and drive a rusted out sedan with +150,000 miles on it, a passenger door that does not open and it strangely smells of rotten cheese. You don’t need anything more than that (well… you get your notebook and laboratory space too).